Please Return to Sender

So because of visa issues and beaurocracy and 关系 (guanxi) and arbitrary moments of "following the rules" or in a more eloquently stated manner:

"The problem here is that mainland China is not so much a land of laws as it is a remarkably complex network of interpersonal relationships. In addition, and more to the point, the law serves a very different function in China than it does in our respective Western countries in that it is primarily intended to maintain social order far more so than to specifically dictate what should or will occur under any given set of circumstances, as is true of the law in the West. Provincial and municipal government leaders are free to interpret and enforce the law in any way that best meets the needs of their citizenry. What is considered best for the social good of the people of China at any given time will generally supersede or trump a strict interpretation of the letter of the law."
(http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/china-english-teacher-visas.htm)

I'm on my way back to America! So, if you're in the great city of Chicago from 9/25-10/1, let me know! I will be back to get me a real visa! Cross your fingers for me because if this don't work, I ain't going back.